Wednesday, March 25, 2009

14% Hydrogen peroxide

The latest "thing" I have decided to try and not stick to is whitening my teeth. Ihave thought about it for quite awhile now, but would NEVER pay to have them zoomed in an hour..then my daughter had a dentis apointment. Turns out the $4000 + that has been spent o n her teeth has turned out to be an ok investment. She is religious, she an atheist, about wearing hear retainers...almoost 8 years post braces, and she has immpeccable oral hygiene. So, she came home with "professional grade" whitening strips for her the tune of $60, which she happily had billed to her father.

Here lies the kicker..she would not, under any circumstances share her whitening strips with me. I just wanted to try them out, just one or two. Everybody knows I am not going to commit four weeks of every day, 30 minutes each time, to applying slimy plastic wraps to my teeth but she would not budge. No strips for me. Tooth nazi.

So, she did the next best thing, found them for me online. Fortunately, I have one click shopping at they arrived today!!

As I sit here typing, mouth full of saliva from the slippery gems, my two thumbs are burning like fire..seems 14% hydrogen peroxide is a bit too much for my skin and I somehow figured out how to apply these bad boys with my thumbs only...I believe I am now down to 8 fingerprints ..which I do think one day will not serve me well..they will find you if you only have 8 fingerprints.

Potato vodka is clear, no staining..I will forego the cranberry juice for just tonight, so I do not stain the newly whitened eight teeth that are covered by my $49.53 professional whitening strips. I only have 29 more days to go to a new brighter, whiter smile!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Medical Mygyver

First off, I ate the navel orange. It was as good as I thought it would be. It was starting to shrivel and I was really feeling guilty about it, so I ate it. Done.

Today was one of those odd days you have every now and then. I spent the day with an interventional radiologist. Simply put, a radiologist reads xrays, the interventional radiologist sticks stuff into you and then reads the xrays. I was bored. It was the sort of thing, seen one, you've seen them all. Yes, some are bigger, some are harder to move, but pretty much, seen one, seen them all. Not alot of "wow"....even though I am pretty sure that is what the interventional radiologist was looking for from me.

So, midway through the day, I became fixated on the sterile field in front on me with all the medical supply detritus. That is when I decided to put my mind to good use and try to figure out what I could make with an empty enema bag, clear plastic tubing, flexible wire of varying lengths and width, three blue plastic round tubs with saline, and gauze. I came up with nothing, absolutely nothing. I did however decide that if the stock market EVER seems to making a comeback, I am going to invest in medical waste removal.

Now crystal light pink lemonade, a slice of lemon, a spritz of fresca and potato vodka... that is a pure Mygyver move...

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

1 navel orange

Last night at the grocery store I decided to purchase one navel orange. There is a method to my madness....if I just purchase one, surely I will eat it. I have a bad habit of purchasing fruit beacause it looks so good and so healthy, but never really eating it once it makes its way home.

Like many, I have tried and failed with numerous methods of weight loss. At this point, I am trying to get back to the weight I was when I was carrying another human being. There's a goal! Some women want ot get to "pre-preganacy" weight. I'll settle for what I weighed with another person inside. Hence, one navel orange. Of most recent, I have toyed and played with the "low carb" way to slenderizing. I can be really good for one meal. I mean really good...then it falters. The orange could be in trouble, full of carbs. Now, if I just took one slice, added some diet cranberry juice and then the potato vodka...

Monday, March 9, 2009

A pharmacist, realtor and fisherman enter a bar..

So, I am sitting here thinking about the pharmacist, realtor and fisherman from Key West..can it really be that I am already a week away from the pub crawl of Duval? I came home to 5 inches of snow and a really great episode of Real Housewives of New York. Anyway, back to is true, the minute you return from vacation, it starts pulling you back in. I found that on a postcard at SoBo Cafe and have never forgotten it! Meanwhile, I have already booked a jaunt to Vegas for the end of April..I may have a problem...
Meanwhile my first day back to work, a patient presents,(yes, I work "medical" ),with an "odor" as she desribes it. Unable to fully examine the location of said odor, she offers to take a kleenex and place it in the area of said odor so that I can then smell the kleenex..really? Is that quid pro quo..because I can put a kleenex where the sun don't shine also! I passed on the kleenex exam and went full throtttle into full exam of said area. Diagnosis: yeast. Next stop: One potato vodka cold and smooth.